Honest Game Trailers - Stellar Blade (2024)

Stellar Blade is the 478th episode of Fandom Games' comedy series Honest Game Trailers. It was written by Bailey Meyers, Max Song, and Spencer Gilbert, and narrated by Jon Bailey as Epic Voice Guy. It parodies the action-adventure video game Stellar Blade. It was published on June 4, 2024. It has been viewed over 50,000 times.

Script[]

From the developers (Shift Up) that gave us mobile games with jiggly anime women (Destiny Child), and jiggly anime women with guns (Goddess of Victory: Nikke), comes Shift Up's first foray into into the big boy console-verse, that boldly asks the question, "What if Nier: Automata was made by Koreans?"

Stellar Blade

Slide into another title in the "sexy women with swords" genre, as the artist (Kim Hyung-tae) known for their extremely oily designs (shows examples of Kim's character art for MagnaCarta 2) brings us a shiny new lady to annihilate hordes of monsters with, which, like every other game from this genre, came with its own heaping helping of controversy, as it's lambasted for being too spicy, lambasted for it not being as spicy as it was originally (multiple articles pop up detailing everything described), but ultimately praised as a great action game, that certainly gives you exactly what they advertise, and then some. Huh... They have a ponytail option; wonder what that's for? (shows EVE's ponytail length changing from long to short) Ohh, I get it.

Explore the vast wastelands of post-apocalyptic Earth, as natural resources have died out, genetically modified creatures skulk around every corner, and A.I. runs rampant; so basically, just us in, like, ten years. Eh, who am I kidding? Three years, tops. Then, slip into the vinyl tights of EVE, a superhuman android K-pop idol on a quest to get rid of a horrible scourge, that sounds like old people yogurt...

Jamie Lee Curtis: --a yogurt called Activia that can help.

...which will have you mulching your way through anything with an abnormal number of teeth, in order to uncover the silent history that brought Earth to the state it's in, and all while wearing the most impractical heels since Jurassic World. (shows EVE standing on the tips of her toes) Euugh, that cannot be good for those arches...

Explore the expansive rusty dustbin that the world has become, as you sprint around unlocking rest points, in what appears to be a mostly vending machine-based economy, run a bunch of errands for people that look like they're late for a cyberpunk-themed rave, pilfer dead bodies for goodies, and explore every dark corner you can see on your map, all in order to gather materials to upgrade your skills and weapons, so you don't get one-shotted by a dude with a chainsaw for a face. Let's be honest, though; we're digging through trash mostly for the costumes. I mean, look, if I'm going to save the world, I'm going to save it like I'm about to play beach volleyball! Who knew monster blood was this flattering?

Slash into the most stellar part of Blade: its combat mechanics, which mix fast-paced action and third-person shooting, and will make you feel like a sexy dolphin made of knives... or, if you're over 30, like a big ol' beached whale, as you miss your dodge and parry timing to get absolutely bodied, or spend most of your health to take down one guy, only to get killed by some little weeny monster you didn't see, in fun and reactive gameplay that hits just right when you get the timings perfect, but hits back hard when you don't. I mean, sure, it's not as challenging as a Soulsborne, but it's certainly easier on the eyes to watch EVE dodge around the field than a dude in armor rolling around like a concussed armadillo.

So squeeze into that bodysuit and get ready to raise those cans, for an action-RPG experience with an intriguing story and captivating visuals, that, despite the discourse over its "aesthetics", isn't just skin-deep. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to save humanity. Hehe! These earrings really bring out my eyes...!

Starring: NewGenes (Yoon Eun-seo/Rebecca Hanssen as EVE); Discord Boyfriend (Jeong Jae-heon/Nezar Alderazi as Adam); Chipper Chipper Cheerio (Park Ri-na/Rosie Jones as Lily Artemis II); Oh, She Seems Cool! Come On... Really?! (Cheon Ji-sun/Alexandra Constantinidi as Tachy); What Ask Jeeves Looks Like Now (Seol Young-beom/Stephen Schreiber as Orcal); Every K-Beauty Influencer (Jung Hye-wan/Holly Earl as Kaya); You Don't Have to Put On the Red Light (Chong Yu-mi/Dev Joshi as Roxanne); I Knew Enya Would Survive the Apocalypse (Lee Dae-un/Meaghan Martin as Enya); Sentient Salon Dryer (Park Sung-tae/Andrew Wheildon-Dennis as Kasim); Do You Get Dolby Surround Sound? (Park Sang-hoon/John Hopkins as Clyde); These Very Cold Looking Ladies (Chong Yu-mi/Laila Pyne as Rael, Quiel, and Shael); That's So Not Raven (Kangh Si-hyun/Díana Bermudez as Raven); and The Superior Tamagotchi (Park Nah-sik/Akie Kotabe as D1G-g2r).

Sheer Hot-omata

You know, it's cool that you have the world's deadliest scrunchie and all, but it kind of defeats the purpose when you can't use it as a stabby thing when you need it. I thought this was the future! Like, why does your sword even need a Wi-Fi connection?!

Viewer Comments[]

Please say: "I am the lone locust of the apocalypse. Think of me when you look up at the night sky." - Shaprite

Funniest line ever, Todd Howard "It just works". - mattstinnett5952

Please say, "This guy's smart. He wore the brown pants." - wesleybrehm9386

"they are waiting for you Mr Freeman, in the test chamber.' - ---|---

🎶Country roads... Take me home...🎶 - deathsyth8888

Trivia[]

Reception[]

Production Credits[]

Written by: Bailey Meyers, Max Song, and Spencer Gilbert

Edited by: Max Song

Produced by: Bailey Meyers & Max Song

Post-Production Supervisor: Emin Bassavand

Content Manager: Mikołaj Kossakowski

Post-Production Specialist: Rebecca Castaneda

Assistant Editor: Kayla Fyfe

Director of Video Production: Max Dionne